Saturday, December 18, 2010
Making the Best of It
I kissed his head, told him I love him, and held back my tears as I sent him off to school. This send off isn't just for the 8:30am to 3pm school day. I kissed his head knowing I wont see his sweet face for 9 days. That seems like an eternity to a parent who has a divided home. I do this every year at Christmas and I dont get the luxury of having him every year on Christmas day. I use to feel bad because I had one of the abnormal families but now we are normal and the Cleaver family is rare, sadly.
I have been saying goodbye to Justus frequently since he was one year old and he is now almost a teen. I remember talking to a woman when Justus was two. I was crying to her and asking her if the holidays get any easier in time desperately wanting her to comfort me and tell me that my heart wont hurt so much when I send him off in the future. But, she didn't. In fact, she told me, " Honey, I've been doing this ten years and it doesn't get any easier." My heart dropped, and deep down in my heart I knew she was right.
There is always a part of my heart that is missing when Justus is gone and I don't get it back until he returns. Its funny because even the things he does that can drive me crazy like pestering his sisters,
I miss. I have had to learn to surrender him to the Lord in a way that is so sweet and tender yet very hard at times too. On the bright side, sending him off to college one day will be a lot easier because I have had a lot of practice...I hope.
Now, I am not writing this for anyone to pity me because there is a family that loves Justus and he loves them that has their own sadness to deal with too. In fact, Justus' dad has had to do this a lot more than me. I am also very grateful that Justus' dad has always wanted and been actively involved in his life. In our situation, that isn't always the case. I cant imagine how much harder this situation would be for Justus if his dad didn't want him, but he does love him and wants him around. He also has another mom who loves him and looks forward to his visits.
God is so faithful. Ecclesiastes tells us He is faithful even when we are faithless.I am living proof of this. God has given me the strength to endure this continual hardship with a attitude that can only come from Him. I honestly dont know how people endure this with out the Lords help. Its hard, but like all struggles in life, it has given me a heart for God that I didnt have before. It has give me a priceless tenderness towards him that I will cherish forever.
Making the best of it means forgiving, praying constantly, being flexible, and always keep in mind that your child/children have another home. It is imperative that you encourage them to have the freedom to love all of their parents involved. That is one way you can keep them healthy and happy, and most importantly you are showing them how to love the way God does. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that true love isnt selfish. Only God can give you the unselfish love you need to do this.
During this season, when you say goodbye to your kids, I pray you are encouraged to pray for them, and ask God to give you a heart for the "other"family that pleases Him. My family isn't what I thought it was going to be as a child, but God has made all things beautiful in His time!
And to me...our famly is beautiful because it is a picture of love, grace, and endurance. A perfect picture of Christ!
I have been saying goodbye to Justus frequently since he was one year old and he is now almost a teen. I remember talking to a woman when Justus was two. I was crying to her and asking her if the holidays get any easier in time desperately wanting her to comfort me and tell me that my heart wont hurt so much when I send him off in the future. But, she didn't. In fact, she told me, " Honey, I've been doing this ten years and it doesn't get any easier." My heart dropped, and deep down in my heart I knew she was right.
There is always a part of my heart that is missing when Justus is gone and I don't get it back until he returns. Its funny because even the things he does that can drive me crazy like pestering his sisters,
I miss. I have had to learn to surrender him to the Lord in a way that is so sweet and tender yet very hard at times too. On the bright side, sending him off to college one day will be a lot easier because I have had a lot of practice...I hope.
Now, I am not writing this for anyone to pity me because there is a family that loves Justus and he loves them that has their own sadness to deal with too. In fact, Justus' dad has had to do this a lot more than me. I am also very grateful that Justus' dad has always wanted and been actively involved in his life. In our situation, that isn't always the case. I cant imagine how much harder this situation would be for Justus if his dad didn't want him, but he does love him and wants him around. He also has another mom who loves him and looks forward to his visits.
God is so faithful. Ecclesiastes tells us He is faithful even when we are faithless.I am living proof of this. God has given me the strength to endure this continual hardship with a attitude that can only come from Him. I honestly dont know how people endure this with out the Lords help. Its hard, but like all struggles in life, it has given me a heart for God that I didnt have before. It has give me a priceless tenderness towards him that I will cherish forever.
Making the best of it means forgiving, praying constantly, being flexible, and always keep in mind that your child/children have another home. It is imperative that you encourage them to have the freedom to love all of their parents involved. That is one way you can keep them healthy and happy, and most importantly you are showing them how to love the way God does. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that true love isnt selfish. Only God can give you the unselfish love you need to do this.
During this season, when you say goodbye to your kids, I pray you are encouraged to pray for them, and ask God to give you a heart for the "other"family that pleases Him. My family isn't what I thought it was going to be as a child, but God has made all things beautiful in His time!
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