The Crazy Chabot House: Making the Best of It

The Crazy Chabot House: Making the Best of It

Making the Best of It

I kissed his head, told him I love him, and held back my tears as I sent him off to school. This send off isn't just for the 8:30am to 3pm school day. I kissed his head knowing I wont see his sweet face for 9 days. That seems like an eternity to a parent who has a divided home. I do this every year at Christmas and I dont get the luxury of having him every year on Christmas day. I use to feel bad because I had one of the abnormal families but now we are normal and the Cleaver family is rare, sadly.

I have been saying goodbye to Justus frequently since he was one year old and he is now almost a teen. I remember talking to a woman when Justus was two. I was crying to her and asking her if the holidays get any easier in time desperately wanting her to comfort me and tell me that my heart wont hurt so much when I send him off in the future. But, she didn't. In fact, she told me, " Honey, I've been doing this ten years and it doesn't get any easier." My heart dropped, and deep down in my heart I knew she was right.
There is always a part of my heart that is missing when Justus is gone and I don't get it back until he returns. Its funny because even the things he does that can drive me crazy like pestering his sisters,
 I miss. I have had to learn to surrender him to the Lord in a way that is so sweet and tender yet very hard at times too. On the bright side, sending him off to college one day will be a lot easier because I have had a lot of practice...I hope.
Now, I am not writing this for anyone to pity me because there is a family that loves Justus and he loves them that has their own sadness to deal with too. In fact, Justus' dad has had to do this a lot more than me. I am also very grateful that Justus' dad has always wanted and been actively involved in his life. In our situation, that isn't always the case. I cant imagine how much harder this situation would be for Justus if his dad didn't want him, but he does love him and wants him around. He also has another mom who loves him and looks forward to his visits.
 God is so faithful. Ecclesiastes tells us He is faithful even when we are faithless.I am living proof of this. God has given me the strength to endure this continual hardship with a attitude that can only come from Him. I honestly dont know how people endure this with out the Lords help. Its hard, but like all struggles in life, it has given me a heart for God that I didnt have before. It has give me a priceless tenderness towards him that I will cherish forever.
Making the best of it means forgiving, praying constantly, being flexible, and always keep in mind that your child/children have another home. It is imperative that you encourage them to have the freedom to love all of their parents involved. That is one way you can keep them healthy and happy, and most importantly you are showing them how to love the way God does. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that true love isnt selfish. Only God can give you the unselfish love you need to do this.
During this season, when you say goodbye to your kids, I pray you are encouraged to pray for them, and ask God to give you a heart for the "other"family that pleases Him. My family isn't what I thought it was going to be as a child, but God has made all things beautiful in His time!

And to me...our famly is beautiful because it is a picture of love, grace, and endurance. A perfect picture of Christ!

A moment of freak out

The summer's always seem to fly by so this one was no different from the past. My life has a completely different feel to it when the two boys are home as oppose to when its just the two girls and I. This school year was different for me in that Justus started Jr. High. I have really tried to hold onto every moment with my beautiful son. The moment I saw his sweet face and looked into his Gigantic, alert eyes on March 29, 1998 at 12:28am, I was smitten for life! 
I was nineteen and had no idea what to expect or what I was doing, so I took one moment at a time, poured my heart into him, and begged God to help me take care of this Lil man. God was so faithful to send family and friends just at the right times. There are so many things I would do differently in retrospect, but I just pray Gods grace is sufficient in my weaknesses. I celebrate in humility the things I did right, knowing it was Gods guidance and voice I was heading to in those moments. 
God has used (and will continue to use) this 12 year old boy in my life. In the first few years of his life there were days I didn't want to get out of bed, but his sweet, loving, and happy voice saying, "Hi Mommy!" pulled me out every day. His adventurous spirit pulled me outside every day to enjoy the sunshine and join his imaginary world.
As all my friends were away at school and enjoying their new adult freedoms that come after 18, I was enjoying the hugs & kisses of a little boy who I took "everywhere" with me. I was learning how to be a mom through reality when all of my peers were learning through text books.
When you are a single mom for 7.5 years, you really bond & have a different kind of relationship than you do in a two parent family structure.
I still remember dropping him off to kindergarten & he cried every time I left the first two weeks. It was so hard for him to adjust to all these children, a long day, and no mommy. I would always assure him that he could do it and I knew he had what it took to make it through the day.He made it and persevered to make it successfully through the rest of his elementary years.


I dropped Justus off this week feeling excited & anxious for his first day of 7yh grade. I stayed an extra 15 min. just in case he freaked out like in kindergarten. Just in case he needed me, so I could be there for him, so I could assure him that he could do it and I knew he had what it took to make it through the day.  I drove off smiling & teary eyed when all the last kids were gone and I knew he had made it to his first class just fine. No matter how old they get...your still mom:)
I picked him up & was relieved to hear that he made it to all his classes (on time too), met friends, and had a great day! There was just a little silence in between all his stories and details (this is rare from a 12 yr. old boy). Then he said, " Mom....I had a freak out moment today (I am tearing up just writing this)". Me, "Oh really, what happened. Justus, "I was feeling great when I got out of the car, and then I turned the corner to the locker hall and saw all these kids everywhere and kaos. I was expecting there to be like 5 kids in the hall and there were like 100, and I started freaking out & I wanted to run back to you and say, Mom please come with me..... But, I told myself I can do this & I did! " 
The world stopped to me and I thoughts got the best of me. I told him that I was proud of him & that I waited just in case he came back...then I started thinking.
How sad he was OK with out me, and didn't need me to go with him.
 Then I thought a little bit more.
Isn't that part of parenting? For 12 years I have been doing my part to equip him & prepare him for these "freak out" moments. He is no longer 5, and he needs to grow to be independent of me. Eventually, 100% independent of me. 
Don't get me wrong....I know I'm not done yet, and I know he still needs me. But, it was a proud/sad moment when I realized he didn't need me in that moment...he made it with out me....sigh.


There will be many more freak out moments in life for him, but I pray that he leans on God and is confident that God will give him what he needs & he can rise to any challenge.

Boys Yearly Yosemite Trip

As much as I dread this trip every year, the boys look forward to it tremendously. Maybe its the city girl in me that doesnt like the most amazing man/boy I have ever met backpacking through forest of danger from wildlife or mother nature. I hold it in (for the most part) how much this stresses me out so that I dont steel their thunder as they load up the packed van of gear with 5 boys and 3 men.
But...here are all the many reasons I need to let go and be at peace/
1. God is in Control...He always is!!!
2. Aaron and Justus get to bond and depend on each other without me around:)
3. I love that Aaron is with two great guys and one is a guy that I went to high school and I consider him to be a godly, fun, and friend for life!!!
4. They get to do all kinds of guys stuff and be stinky for 4 days with no one to judge them or make them wash themselves. (I am laughing hard as I write this).
5. I also know that one day both of them will look back at this yearly trip with such amazing memories that they will take with them forever...I smile writing that.
6. My house is actually really clean when they are gone...sshhhh dont tell I dont want them to feel bad.
7. The girls and I get a lot of time together.
8. I get a lot more rest...again shhh dont tell.
9. I am reminded how much I love, appreciate, and enjoy Aaron and Justus and it keeps me from taking any of that for granted. They both bring so much joy and adventure that I might not experience had I not been blessed with them.
10. The most important one...I get time to pray, reflect, and ask God to change me in the areas that will bless each one of them tremendously as a wife/mom.

I miss them soo much and look forward to hearing their laughter through the door and their stories of adventure.

Here are some pics from last years trip.

Motherhood

I have wanted to write this blog since mother's day but I haven't gotten a chance until now. Both girls are fast asleep and I am feeling inspired to write.
Most of you know that I became a mom very young and in different circumstances than I had always planned, yet in Gods grace I welcomed it with open arms and fell in love not only with my new baby boy but with being a mom. I spent many mothers day a single mom but happy I was always guaranteed to have Justus with me on the special day. That in itself was a perfect mothers day. But, the years went on and I now have three beautiful children to mother. 
My mothers day this year wasn't exactly hallmark perfect. I tried to sleep in but couldn't. Aaron, bless his heart, tried to let me sleep in but I could hear my normally happy, round baby fussing and the motherly instincts in me carried me up and out of bed before I could stop myself. My girls were fussy and I was wanting to spend time with everyone and feeling pulled in all different directions.
 I am ashamed to say that up until this mothers day I fell into the trap that mothers day was about me (and my mom & grandma) and what I wanted to do that day. I was caught up in having the perfect day like everyone says we should have or we deserve. Boy was I wrong! 
Aaron announced to me that he was overwhelmed with a project for school so he couldn't accompany us to church, and that he had to do homework ALL DAY. I secretly was mad at him even though I knew he couldn't help it. I was even more upset when I got to church and I realized that the sermon was perfect for us yet only I was going to hear it. I called Aaron during worship and told him he needed to get the tape. I know that's terrible but I was feeling alone and frustrated on the one day everything is suppose to go perfect. The day went on...
We got home and the girls took a nap. I desperately wanted  some quiet restful time but I knew that Justus would be all alone left to resort to some kind of media if I rested. I spent time with him instead and enjoyed every minute of it.
It was cold outside and I wanted to take a walk, but we couldn't. I wanted to have a day free of cooking but we couldn't afford to go out to eat. sigh. 
I started feeling sorry for myself and wishing this entire day was different and I was feeling like I hated Mothers Day and why do we have it anyway?
I must have sat still long enough for the Lord to speak and I sat still long enough to hear his sweet, gracious, and loving voice.
Is it really about you Shannon? Motherhood? Is it about you or the kids I have entrusted to you to love and guide and care for? Humiliated with myself, I said, No Lord its not.
God has a way of making such a complex and vast concept so clear and evident in one single moment.
That was my moment!
Motherhood is anything but perfect, but that is the beauty of it.
I have stretch marks, sags, wrinkles, grey hairs (yes I have found some recently:( ), lack of sleep, overwhelming days, and me is the last on my daily list. There is beauty in that.
We are privileged to put band aids on boo boos that don't really need them, honored to wipe green boogies and nasty poops, and blessed to have children who look up at us with bright eyes filled with love for us no matter how many flaws we have.
We live in a society that tells us we need to get a lot of time to ourselves, accomplish grate things in the world, or make a lot of money. But if you have chosen the road of motherhood, its NOT!
I know you need to enjoy and live life as I do. I just choose to do it at times that they are sleeping, enjoying family, or I am with them! Its a constant juggling and adventure but its doable.
In all of the hard times, there is a beauty and joy that could not be found in anything but Motherhood. 
I have so much to be grateful for and this journey is a beautiful one that I would not trade for anything or any amount of money.
I know mothers day is long gone for the cards but it is always a mothers day when you have children. Be encouraged that you can overcome any hardship that comes your way, be strong and courageous, and serve God when you serve your children. 
So, the next time you get caught up in not feeling beautiful remember there is always beauty in Motherhood. 




I have been blessed to have a mother who has been an incredible example of what a mother is, and my two sisters are great examples too!

Here are some more pictures of the mother's in my life that inspire me or teach my about mother hood in one way or another.

My precious Mother in Law

My lovely grandma GG

And wonderful Friends

Thank you all for your beauty!

Lilly's & Stellas 1st time to Disneyland!

I wanted to wait to take Lilly to Disneyland until she was able to get excited and anticipate going! It was well worth the wait!!! I made the mistake of telling her a week before it was planned thinking it would build excitement, and it did. But, drove me crazy in the mean time. She asked about 10 times a day when we were going to Disneyland where Minnie Mouse and the princessess live? Aaron, Justus, and I get so much joy from watching Lilly live life and this was one of those memorable moments watching her take in every momenet. Her bright green eyes pull you in to her adventures the minute you lock eyes with them, and all three of us love to join her world. 

She went on Dumbo in which she loved/hated and daddy got to have that experience with her. I got the privilage of taking her on the Goofy roller coaster in which she got scarrrrreeed and told me she wanted off, but then asked to go again...girls.

I was so excited to take her and Stella on Its a small World but my dreams of us all singing and enjoying it together came to a fast hault. Who would have known that it would scare those bright green eyes black along with Stella jumping into my arms for comfort. Aaron and I spent the entire ride consoling the two of them. Constantly telling Lilly they were "fake" dolls that were just singing and dancing. You would have thought she saw that old doll CHUCKIE from the horror fims.We got brief brakes when Aerial or any other familiar character caught Lilly's attention. Justus laid on the bench for the ride and told me to wake him up when it was over. I think it horrified him too:) 

It was a fun day that ended with walking through Tinker Bells garden and a trip to McDonalds. It was a gift from a friend to go and we all were blessed by going.

Aaron John

I never want him to get looked over for he plays so many roles and does an amazing job at them. Some of you who are reading this may not know him or you may fall into the category where you know him but rarely get to have any form of communication with him...email/facebook/cell/text/Skype. 

You would think in the world we live in with multiple ways to communicate he would like one of them, but He doesnt. He prefers to have conversations face to face and with his scedule or geographical reasons thats hard to get.

I dont know how he does it. He works two jobs (teaching high school at risk kids/ home & hospital teacher), is finishing grad school, helps with the house chores, helps with cooking, helps with the kids, plays with the kids, works out, and he loves to read. Lately, he's been into long distance running too. Aaron really looks forward to our summers as he gets more time with us, time to surf, and rest and recoup for the next school year.

He starts every morning with reading his Bible, a cup of coffee, his journal, and prayer (Just like my mother in law:). Sometimes he only has 3 minutes to do this and other times he'll do it for at least an hour. He gives all he can and then some more.

God really knew what he was doing when he gave me this wonderful man who continues to grow every year. I am so thankful for him and I know he is easily overlooked because of our 3 amazing kids. 

So, every now and then, I want to write about him and acknowledge his part and strength in our family. 

How can she be 9 months already?...

All of the sudden, Stella is manuevering her way around her world. She pulls herself up on EVERYTHING...The book shelf, walls, your lap, crib, beds you name it. The best part is watching her try to figure out how to move her chubby legs and bootie. I have never been stopped with a baby like I am with this pure bundle of joy. Her Colgate smile is permanent for the world to enjoy. Lilly is enjoying Stella's new wheels and desire to adventure more everyday. She officially has a partner in crime:)

 My only complaint is that she has gotten me up for at least an hour just about every day the past 2 months.
 sigh.
 Last night, Aaron and I awoke to her standing holding onto the headboard of our bed like she was on a ships mast taking off into the sunset of freedom. How can you not wake up for that?

One of the many reasons I love her

Lilly has been fascinated this year with the concept that daddy goes to work and brother goes to school. They cant even leave the room with out her asking them, "Are you going to works daddy?" If Justus is gone she assumes he's at school even if he is just outside playing basketball. She has also noticed that I pack them both a lunch daily. Tuesday morning she asked me to make her a lunch too because she has school and work. (when daddy asked her if she was ready to leave to go she said no, I want to stay home with mommy) So, I did what any mommy would do, I made her a lunch. I packed the lunch box with a sandwhich, gerber fruit snacks, orange, goldfishes, and apple juice. She drug that box around all day long, but thats not what intriuged me. I shouldnt have been surprised, yet I was, and it gave me a good laugh. This pic is of all the things in the lunch box by the afternoon. 

Moms necklace - check

movie ticket stub- check
Stella's dirty socks-check
dying flowers from our garden-check
Moms BC pills-check
4 random toys-check

The Night crawler

Ok, so I know this looks like a mug shot.
WHYYYY does my perfect sleeper do this to me almost every night between the lovely hours of 2-4am? Do you notice how bright eyed and bushy tailed she is? This was taken at 4:35a.m. Another little toothe reared its head this week, so I have a feeling that is the culprit.
I beg, I plead with God and her (as if she can comprehend her mothers desperation, but it still happens.
What I choose to focus on is that this IS only a season. I know from the past two children I have that I will miss these days tremendously. Stella crawls around now everywhere and brings a smile to everyones face instantly.
Thank you God for this precious gift and thank you that you chose me to be her mother.
That is truly humbling.
Well, I am off now to try to tire her out so maybe I can get in an hour before Lills comes to my bed and says, "Momma, I want chocolate MILLLk!"

Life in the fast lane

Ok, so I am really going to do it this time. I have always loved writing as it is an outlet for me. I am rusty, so please be patient. Our house always has something going on and I feel it is my duty to entertain the world around me. Maybe I can even get some tears or laughter from some of you. These past few months have been really hard, no lie. Adjusting to having a pre-teen, toddler, and baby can be challenging at times, but such a blessing too. Aaron is busy often with school and work. He is an amazing help when he has the time. Outside of my family has been hard too. What my original family unit has been through has been atrocious. I cling to Jesus knowing he WILL make on this beautiful in His time. Here are some of the latest pics for those of you who dont use facebook.